happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
