D3 body, D1 cock
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
