I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
