They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
