I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just gargled with NyQuil
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
