theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize