i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
