david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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