Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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