I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yo dont text me then not text me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
