i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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