I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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