i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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