Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize