come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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