it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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