Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
