forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
