Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
