Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
