so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
