Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
