True but thats because hes a fetus.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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