The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
