It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize