i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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