why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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