You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
