So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
