I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize