i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
