For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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