I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
