She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
