In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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