Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
