The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
