you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
