I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize