A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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