puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
