I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
