she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
