Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
