I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
