its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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