love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
