I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
