It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
