God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
