im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
