im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
