Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
