On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
