the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
