If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
