Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
