Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
