I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
