I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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