i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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