It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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