i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
