he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
