I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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