and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
