This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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