halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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