hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize