he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
