You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
