Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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