My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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