Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
