he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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