I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
