Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my being single is dangerous.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
